Review: It

It by Stephen King
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

"You can't be careful on a skateboard, man." —some kid

The Shining and 'Salem's Lot ain't shit...... You ain't never read anything truly fucked up and gruesome till you read It. What do those two aforementioned books have? They're boring save for a couple tense moments... There's your "horror". But It on the other hand... Holy shit.

It fucked my brain and twisted it and wrung my soul and made my chest feel like it was gonna die with just how utterly UNSETTLING and FUCKED and GRUESOME this book was and how generally SAD and HORRIFIED this book made me FEEL. Boy do I fuck with books that make me feel. This was so fucked. Just so, so fucked. So fucked on so many levels and I loved it the whole time even though I could feel it ripping and twisting my already too ripped and twisted psyche, and I knew that it couldn't be good for me but damn is it good when something can make me feel and boy did this book make me feel. Shit. This book ain't right in the head. But dammit neither am I.

10/10, best book ever written. I don't give a flying chicken shit that it's ~1477 pages (depending on the edition), until you've read this book you ain't read SHIT, I swear to God. I almost don't even want to read any more of Stephen King's books because there's no way that anything else he's written could possibly top this. Though of course if you're not a little messed up in the head yourself or just don't like extreme horror and gore in general then obviously you probably won't like this. That said, what in the name of all that is wrong in this world are you doing looking at reading a Stephen King horror novel for then??

I wrote a bunch of spoiler-free Reading Notes during the nearly three months it took me to read this, so scroll to the bottom of this review to read those if you want. They have some extra thoughts on different parts and aspects of the book that you might find interesting.

For the latter parts of the book I'll actually discuss some things here since they're much more fresh in my mind, but these are BIG spoilers so please don't click unless you’ve read this book: (view spoiler)[

So. The kiddie porn part. That's the one part of this book that I not only disliked, but fucking HATED. After I finished reading that chapter I actually felt violated. It felt like I was forced to watch all these little kids have sex over and over again against my will, and I wish so much I hadn't read it. It feels like my body and mind are both dirtier and less whole from witnessing it.

But, you know, especially in super fucked up books like this, when the readin' gets tough you just gotta keep on reading on because it all leads to something, or explains something, or something important happens during, or you know, something happens that makes it worthwhile that you didn't just skip reading the part. But with the fucking kiddie porn scene...

It would have been 100% okay just skipping that. Nothing was revealed (unless you count finding out that Ben has a big ol' kid dick an important revelation), nothing important happened, no events happened whilst it was happening or interrupted them or anything. It could have 100% been skipped, just knowing "and they all fucked in the sewers" would have been plenty knowledge and so much less scarring. BUT FUCK IF I FUCKING KNEW THAT SHIT. I READ EVERY FUCKING WORD OF THAT SHIT AND IT MADE ME FEEL LIKE AN ABSOLUTE BASTARDISED PIECE OF RUINED GARBAGE. So yeah that was terrible.

Also I must have missed something but I don't understand WHY THE FUCK THEY DID THAT. Is it some common knowledge that I'm not privy to that whenever you're lost all you've gotta do is fuck the brains out of everyone in the vicinity (children obviously included) and then you'll be able to find your way home? Um. But let's say that ol' Eds is able to lead the gang home because his head is cleared after bustin' the ol' nut in Bev. Let's say that's the logic behind that. Then why did she have to fuck the ENTIRE SQUAD???? Why not just the navigator?? That makes no sense which is why I must have seriously missed something. But fuck it if I can think of anything that would make that shit make any sense at all.

Speaking of Eddie, I literally did not care at all when he died. I have no ill feelings towards Eds at all; He was just a character I didn't really care about all that much, for whatever reason. I was definitely surprised that King actually pulled the plug on him since King had so far been sparing our main characters lives. With Mike being surprised when none of them died in between their reunion lunch and their meeting in the library, with neither Mike or Eddie getting murdered by Henry (I was actually convinced that Eddie was going to die when he opened his hotel door to Henry, but I didn't actually care if he died then either), and with Mike not dying in the hotel (I thought he might actually die, but by that point I was much less sure), there were a lot of evaded deaths. So when Eddie actually DID die, if anything other than surprised I was also impressed. I remember admiring the way in which King worded the final sentence which cemented his death. But little did I know that that was merely King opening the door for more such possibilities...

Like with Richie. I literally didn't even like Richie at first, he was just so annoying and obnoxious. But I think that's exactly what King was going for. Because then you hang around him more and you get used to him and see that he's actually more than just an annoying obnoxious little kid, and that he's actually a pretty swell guy, and a good part of the team. So then King goes and (makes you think that he) kills him. Great.

When Bill was inside It and heard Richie faintly scream on the outside, just like him, I thought nothing of it. I was too engrossed in the fact that Bill was literally STANDING INSIDE OF IT AND MASHING IT'S GUTS AROUND!!!! But then he killed It... And called out for Richie... And he didn't respond... And my heart sank, remembering his scream that I had so carelessly dismissed. When Bill found his body and he was still unresponsive I was absolutely destroyed, but I still had hope.

I never ever assume a character dead unless I see it with my own eyes. If the narrator says "he dies" (ala Eddie), then fine, okay, he's dead. But if the body is never found or is just unresponsive, A BITCH AIN'T GONNA LOSE HOPE, Y'ALL COUNT ON THAT. I think it actually just boils down to me not wanting to accept that shit, but that's how it goes. I was still so distraught, but when Bill contemplated for a split second whether or not to carry Richie's body back with him, but then he did, I was like "THAT'S FUCKING RIGHT". Then it turns out he was alive (Godbless) and I literally teared the fuck up out of happiness and had to pause for a good minute to soak up the good news.

The point of that was to illustrate my different reactions to two different character deaths. What I think is really smart, is if King did this on purpose: Chose the character least likely for fans to be super attached to and kill him off, thus raising the stakes ten-fold for the fates of the rest of the characters now that the reader knows that he's willing to kill them off. I think I would have been sad if literally ANY of the other main characters died, but King picked the only one that I didn't mind. So when Richie's mortality is also put into question it is much more likely for the reader to believe he actually might die.

When Eddie's arm got bitten off, I without a doubt thought he'd still live. I've read/watched plenty stories where amputees survive, so all I was thinking is about Eddie having to now live without an arm. Plus, like I already said, it seemed like King was evading main character deaths. But when Eddie actually dies is when everything shifts. Sure, Stan died right at the beginning, but we didn't really know or care about him back then. But now, a main character who we've practically grown up with has succumbed to It, which opens up the possibility for any of the rest of them to also bite it at any second. This was such a good way to evoke a strong emotional reaction from the reader, but still leave them satisfied in the end since Richie doesn't actually die. Fabulous.

Now that I've effectively written an entire essay in the middle of the spoiler section of this review, I have one last thought: How in the hell did Henry get out of the sewer?? Like actually? How? Did Beth screw him too? Didn't notice him in the dark and just let him get in a good one too, just for good measure? Then he found his own way home? No. There's no way. So then how??? He should have died down there, but he was in the newspaper and in an asylum so we know he got out alive and wasn't a ghost. Again, this must have been something I missed, but I can't fathom how it could actually be explained.

Jesus Christ this is the longest "review" I've written in a while. You know, because no one actually wants to read a mile-long review, and I know I don't like reading mile-long reviews, so I've been trying not to write them. But then again this last "spoiler discussion" section is more than just a review, so I'd like to think that I get a pass. I hope you, who has already read this book, enjoyed reading what I had to say about it, and I sincerely thank you for reading this far. (hide spoiler)]

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